After a divorce, you are still their grandparents

Family relationships are always complex, and the relationship between adult children and their parents generally do not become any less complex by nature of the aging of the children into adulthood. Sometimes, it merely makes them more complex, as the children may grow to resent the "suggestions" of parents, finding them intrusive and meddlesome.

And while grandchildren can add even more potential for irritation and conflict, the mix can become very roiled by the occurrence of divorce. As a grandparent, you may be faced with many additional complexities, as you attempt to maintain viable relations with all parties.

The difficulty for the grandparent is avoiding alienating either parent of your grandchildren. Because their decisions regarding their child custody arrangement will control how and when you have access to your grandchildren, maintaining positive relationship with both parents is important.

Marital, Separate and Equitable, but not equal

The characterization of property during a divorce is significant. Your property division will determine your financial future and one element of that division is whether property is marital or separate in Missouri. Separate property, as its name implies typically has as its source something that separates it from jointly held assets. In most cases, inheritances and gifts are separate property.

Marital property makes up the bulk of most couples assets and includes income earned and assets acquired during the marriage. The important to remember during a divorce that marital property in Missouri is subject to an equitable division. And this type of distribution can be quite complex, depending on the length of the marriage and the income of the couple.

Child support is for your children

Child support is too often a contentious issue during a divorce. While it exists as a means of benefiting the child or children from the marriage, it often becomes a tool used by the parents to "punish" each other.

The parent who pays often objects because they feel as if their child support payments benefit the other parent. The parent receiving the payments may attempt to use access to the children as a weapon to force payment, withholding access when a payment is late or missed.

A positive divorce?

If you have children, the longest lasting legacy of your divorce will be what you taught them during the divorce and their memories. How that plays out is largely in your hands. While there is likely to be few things about your divorce that will seem pleasant or enjoyable, the better prepared you are for the process and the better able you are to cope with the challenges that do arise, the better your children will do during and after the divorce.

Expectation setting is important. Your divorce attorney can help, because they can explain each element of the process, from the property division and spousal support to child custody and child support, and how each will likely operate in you divorce.

Transitioning to an uncertain future

Divorce has a way of resetting your expectations. That retirement you had been planning may still be possible, but how it will look will change. Sometimes the changes may be subtle, and other changes may be far more noticeable, depending on your starting position.

For a spouse who stayed home and raised the children, it may mean entering the job market or going to school to update a degree or training. For others, it may mean selling a second home or vacation property.

If you had planned to keep the family home in anticipation of visits from eventual grandchildren, it may require selling that home and finding something more in line with your future budget.

Taking steps to become financially aware important prior to divorce

In years past, the roles of men and women in society and in a marriage were much more traditional and defined. In many marriages, men earned the money and handled the finances while women tended to children and the home. While women likely made home-related purchases, men by-and-large held the bulk of financial knowledge and power. Today, thankfully, things are much more equal.

A large percentage of married women work outside the home and many earn incomes equal to or in excess of a spouse. However, in many cases roles related to finances haven't changed. While women who are earning their own money likely enjoy more financial independence, many still opt to handle matters related to the home and children rather than take on responsibilities like paying bills, investing money and managing and tracking retirement assets. As a result, many women remain in the dark about total assets, debts and investments.

Life coach lists signs that signal a failing marriage

In an attempt to help couples address problems before their marriage fails, a life coach recently listed ten of the more common signs that a marriage is heading towards divorce.

A theme echoed through many of the signs was a lack of communication. According to the coach, there is a difference between forgetting to share information and intentionally keeping secrets. Intentionally hiding information from each other can be a red flag of bigger issues within the marriage.

Tied to a lack of communication is "tuning each other out." Simply not caring about the presence of a spouse or what the spouse is saying is another sign of an unstable marriage.

Some challenges seem inherent to the divorce process

Anger, regret, frustration, sadness, relief and guilt are just a sampling of the many emotions often experienced by an individual who is going through a divorce. All of these, and a host of others, are normal and nothing can truly prepare an individual for the emotional and mental roller coaster that is divorce.

While every couple's situation and divorce is unique, there are some factors that seem inherit to the divorce process. For example, during and in the wake of a divorce, parents often struggle to keep their negative emotions about an ex-spouse in check. While it can be incredibly difficult to remain civil with an ex while the wounds of a split are so fresh, for the sake of shared children, it's critical.

Custody battles involving pets becoming more common

The family pet can be an important member of the family. Many people develop deep-seated emotional attachments to their pets, whether dog, cat, bird or horse, which they do not want to lose in a divorce. This can be all the more so for couples without children.

And during a divorce, which is an emotionally upsetting time on its own, the presence of a beloved dog or cat can help one of the parties get through the emotional trauma that may occur. A dog may provide that unquestioningly loyalty and love that is most needed when other emotional support fails.

Hiding of marital assets in with Bitcoin

During a divorce, especially a high-asset divorce, it is very important to identify and locate all of the marital assets. This is because modifications to property division in a divorce, in Missouri and virtually every state are very difficult to obtain.

Unlike an order for child custody, child support or spousal support, which can be modified with a showing of a significant or substantial change in the circumstance of the parties, to modify the division of marital assets typically requires a showing of actual fraud, which may be difficult and expensive to prove.

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